TO FIGHT OR NOT TO FIGHT
He was exhausted. I knew it, but he was fighting it. In all the strength an almost 10 month old baby can muster, he was fighting it. I bathed him, let him sit in on story time with his brothers, fed him, and then attempted to rock him in the quiet darkness of his room, but he wasn’t having it! He kept pushing, squirming, squealing, and kicking until the only thing left to do was to give him his blanket, his pacifier, and to lay him in his crib. I knew he would cry. I knew he wouldn’t want me to lay him down, but until he was ready to let me hold him it was all I could do. So I stepped outside of his door and waited. I wasn’t far away, he wasn’t alone, and 2 seconds ago he was trying to push himself away from me. But now he wanted me. My arms which seemed somewhat confining a few moments ago were now highly desired compared to the alternative.
So I walked back in and picked up my frustrated, exhausted, little son. And this time, he did not fight me. He snuggled into the side of my neck and allowed me to hold him, sit with him, and calm him down. Within minutes he was fast asleep on my chest. I held him for awhile breathing in his scent, remembering how overwhelmed I had felt when I found out I was pregnant with this fourth child. God knew better than I did, because he has been such a tremendous blessing to our family, like all children are. As I was sitting there, I was thankful again to be a child of God.
We fight Him sometimes. Some fight Him more than others. We put up our defenses, build our walls, have our attitudes. We think we don’t need God. We think His ways are confining, His demands too high, His approval unattainable. We think we can do better living life on our own, making our own decisions, following our own path. But God is our Father….a good Father…a perfect Father, and He is never far away.
Are you feeling alone? Are you frustrated with your circumstances? Do you feel like the weight of the world (or even your world) is on your shoulders? Are you discouraged, stressed, struggling, worn out?
If so, stop fighting and surrender! Whether you’ve been struggling with the mere existence of God, the reality of His love, or following through on something you know He wants you to walk in, like forgiveness for example, stop striving! Allow the hands that formed you and shaped the world to now lead you to a quiet place of truth and refreshment. As you do, you will experience a peace that goes beyond reason. A peace that heals the heart and soothes the soul. A peace that breathes hope into the darkest of circumstances. A peace that gives you the strength to hold on and keep going.
Regardless of what you believe about God, we all know that we are not strong all the time or in every circumstance. Could it be that there is a strength that doesn’t grow weary? Could it be that we’ve been resisting the very life that we actually want??!! Have we built up walls against the very Answer to our problems?
As I sat holding my son, I was reminded again to “surrender.” In most aspects of life, surrender is equated with losing, but this is not so when it comes to Jesus. Surrender = Life, Satisfaction, Freedom, Peace, Strength, Hope, Healing, Forgiveness, Direction, and so much more. But please don’t take my word for it. My son didn’t need someone to walk into his room and give him a three point sermon. He merely needed to reach his arms up, and I could and would do the rest.
I would encourage you to reach your arms up to the One who is longing to draw you close. And if you do, He will. Whether it’s for the first time, or the first time in a long time, He ALWAYS draws close to those who seek Him. I’m not the best parent out there. Some days I don’t even feel like a good one. But I do know how to hold my children when they need me. If I can do that right, than I can definitely have enough faith to believe that God can.
Today, remind yourself that regardless of your age, you are a child. You are physically someone’s daughter or son AND you have been created to be a child of the God of the Universe. Let your guard down, I promise you He’ll show up!